A kalisk — Jamal's mount
You Bastard was a massive horned beast — a kalisk — resembling a moose, standing roughly double the size of a horse, with a bony structure around its facial and shoulder areas. Its flat nose and prominent bony ridges gave it a distinctive appearance, while its hindquarters featured terraced fungus growths. You Bastard possessed a robust physique, enabling it to endure significant stress and damage, and it grazed readily on thorny, fibrous weeds, favoring challenging plants over softer grasses. Initially collared by Jamal, a dwarf warrior and member of the party, You Bastard was led back to camp, though its unruly demeanor became evident, particularly under stress. Despite this, it showed intelligence, responding to commands from Jamal and his allies.
Jamal observed You Bastard grazing on dense foliage outside the camp, which allowed him to mount the creature. Using a satchel filled with crushed thistles, brambles, and flowers, he roused You Bastard, who accepted him before proceeding down the road. During an ambush, Jamal rode You Bastard into the fray, attempting a trampling strike against their foes. As the battle escalated, You Bastard became increasingly stressed, complicating Jamal's control over it. In a fierce encounter with a dragon, You Bastard was grappled by the creature yet managed to avoid trampling allies while repositioning for an attack, demonstrating restraint and awareness of its surroundings.
Recognizing its potential as a means of escape and for trampling through obstacles, particularly against groups of mutated townsfolk, Jamal's bond with the beast deepened. Following a battle, Draz attempted to calm You Bastard with soothing words, resulting in a headbutt but no further aggression. Using Nature's Tongue, Draz communicated with it and learned that its kin called it "You Bastard," and of its preference for big spiny thistles. You Bastard responded positively to foraging for these thistles, indicating a budding level of cooperation with the party, while its formidable presence offered a strategic advantage as they navigated the dangers of Ulmira's Step.
More recently, during the exploration of Grithmaar Deep, You Bastard charged forward to intercept an attack from a horned, armored figure, bravely sustaining a spear hit in the process. In a subsequent encounter, it repelled a goblinoid counterattack alongside Jamal, enduring poison damage while eliminating multiple attackers. In combat, it demonstrated its tactical capabilities by effectively engaging an astral assassin, striking it from behind. When a guardian creature expressed displeasure at the party's request to stand down, You Bastard remained focused on the threats, prepared to defend against incoming attacks — resilient, loyal, and willing to engage directly with enemies as a protective force for the party.
Tragically, You Bastard was later found drowned in Grithmaar Deep. Heyou returned underwater to retrieve the Blessed Branch and the Guardian's collar; the collar was removed from the drowned mount, and the party discussed finding a replacement companion — later the crab Pinchie, who took the same collar.